I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
