Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
