is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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