if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize