But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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