I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
