I hate all girls vehemently.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
