There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
