i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
