MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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