im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
