At least make sure they are 18
Why
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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