man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
