i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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