u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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