If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
