he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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