I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize