She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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