when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
