before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
