Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
