So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
