can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
