I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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