ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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