So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
