Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
