TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
