My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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