Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
zippers are such a cool invention
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
