I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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