But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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