Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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