break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
