Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
