Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
