I just saw a hot homeless man
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
handjob tips. give me some.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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