The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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