you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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