shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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