That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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