it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
