the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
