how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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