Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
