Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
