grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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