I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
drinking out of a sandbucket again
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
