"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
