I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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