Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
