Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
