Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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