It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
