How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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