OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
