hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
