I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
