I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize