This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
