we made out on top of his cat.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
