i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
meet me or not, i'm out of control
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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