Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
