Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i think im in europe. pls send help
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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