Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
3pm strippers are depressing
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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