Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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