Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
