After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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