My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
