On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
