East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
