if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
