dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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