she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
