You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
