i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
only if we run a train.
done.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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