i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
