i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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