she was so not down for the gang bang
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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