yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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