its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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