Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
