it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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