You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
